College Moving-In Week: the packing list.

Mod Squad Pete is five days away from moving into his dorm and — no surprises here — still working on his shopping list.

Bed, Bath & Beyond offers an online catalog…

He started early with a laptop purchase in June. We decided against purchasing the full dorm-room bedding set offered by his college (and I wrote about that here), but it took until yesterday for us to get to the store to buy sheets (and mattress pad, foam layer, duvet, duvet cover, etc.). Today he’s out with Mod Squad Dad picking up a refrigerator.

While I sought out lists and advice online (see What to Pack When Heading to College by Kelci Lynn Lucier, who also writes at College Parent Handbook), Pete said he had a mental list. I let that go until a week ago when we returned from family road trips and looked at the calendar.

Then Pete looked online for help and typed up a page full of items. He didn’t organize his list into categories, but Bed, Bath & Beyond offers this breakdown:

…or a simple check list.

• Sleep
• Organize
• Wash
• Eat
• Study
• Relax

Last night Pete started looking through his closet, thinking about what clothes to bring and what to leave. We’ve read college student advice against taking an entire wardrobe, so he’s leaning toward taking the variety he wants, but just enough for about three weeks or so, guessing at how often he’ll do laundry. Since it will still be warm here for a few more months, he doesn’t need sweaters or jackets or many jeans and chinos, for that matter. He’ll take a navy blazer and a tie, but no suit.

From Ms. Lucier, cited above:

Call me old-fashioned, but here’s the deal: Your student should be able to fit everything they need in your car. Yes, your car. (Exception: If your student is moving into an apartment and you need to furnish the place, you can break this rule.) Your student can get by with much less than they might think, and too many students bring too much stuff at the beginning of their first year in school.

Pete also has the advantage of parents living nearby. If he needs any particular item, one of us could drop it off.

[I won't go into detail here about the potential disadvantages of parents living nearby. Pete knows we will not be dropping by unannounced nor uninvited.]

Pete has coordinated large-ticket items with his roommate:  Pete’s bringing the fridge and microwave, his roommate is bringing the printer and a TV. They have not discussed color schemes — one more thing I think might be different when M.S. Julie starts packing in a couple of years. Yet, to turn the stereotype on its head, Pete has the greater need for a shoe organizer.

Oh, yes, this week is all about focusing on the details and putting off thinking about that bigger picture:  he’s leaving home.

Related articles

• 5 College Packing Considerations for Students and Parents
• What we learned at college orientation (and why we’re glad we went)
• First Year [Freshman] Orientation

What we learned at college orientation (and why we’re glad we went)

Fridge, microwave; who needs a dining hall?

A couple of weeks back, Mod Squad Dad and I joined Pete for his college orientation. This decision wasn’t an automatic “yes” — we live near UVa and are fairly familiar with the grounds. This is a busy summer with work, children’s activities, and other obligations, so we paused before taking a day and a half to take tours, listen to administrators, and eat at a dining hall.

We’re glad we went.

There’s plenty of advice available online for both students and parents about orientation.

Melissa Woodsen wrote a guest post for Countdown to College Coach, Making the most of college orientation:

…the BostonGlobe reports that most parents found the events to be more than worthwhile. With events ranging from “Meet the Dean” to model classes and seminars on “Letting Go,” parent orientations offer an in-depth understanding of today’s college experience that can’t be had from a distance.

From GreatCollegeAdvice.com, see Signing up and Preparing for your Orientation Program, by Cara Ray:

Once you arrive at your orientation, make sure the STUDENT is taking the lead.  This is your first step into finding your place on campus. The faculty and staff on campus expect that you will be making decisions, not your parents. Carving your own way starts right now!

Cappex College Insider offers a list of what to expect and tips on how to best take advantage, in What to Expect at College Orientation:

Expect: Logistical tasks such as getting your student ID card, creating a school email (if you haven’t already), and registering for classes.

Tip: If you have the option, try to attend an orientation session earlier in the summer. Since you’ll be registering for classes before the late summer orientation students, it is more likely that you’ll get the courses you really want. Register for the number of credit hours your school recommends for freshmen. You can always drop a course if you get to school and the course load is too heavy.

From the US News blog, Twice the Advice, 6 Tips for Parents at College Orientation

2. Learn what resources are available for parents: Many parents—especially when the first child is leaving for college—have to get used to letting their child do the communicating with the school. There are often legal reasons for this, but it’s good for the growing up process as well.

That doesn’t mean parents are without a voice, however. During orientation you should learn when and how you can communicate with the school. If you don’t hear that information, ask.

Here’s what we saw and learned:

1. Parents asked questions we may not yet have considered.

Room for books, laptop, and keyboard?

• Is using an illegal ID an honor code offense?
• Will a bike (laptop, dorm room, etc.) be safe from theft?
• What time should we arrive on Move-In Day?

2.  Parents asked questions we don’t really care about.

• How many washing machines in ___ dorm?
• How long will it take to get a triple room (assigned due to over-booking) de-tripled?

3.  Excellent administrators handled all questions professionally and thoroughly. This, in fact, was one of the most rewarding reasons for us to attend orientation:  the organization of the two-day event, the presentations and responses from administrators, the good humor and evident intelligence, the discussions of curriculum options and extra-curricular choices — all these reinforced our good feeling about Pete’s college choice.

4.  Administrators talked about what to expect and made specific requests of parents before our children go to college.

• Talk with them about time management. Their time in high school was highly structured. College will require a huge adjustment to working within non-structured schedules. Teach them how to use unstructured time.
• Discuss how to respond to problems. What steps have you taken? Have you talked to the RA? Have you talked to the Dean of Students?
• High school typically requires black & white answers. College requires more thought in grey areas, critical analysis, tough thinking. Anticipate some confusion and frustration while making that developmental change.
• Students will sign a roommate agreement form when they arrive, but many areas of possible discord can be talked through themselves, especially an agreed-upon policy on locking the door, overnight guests (and frequency), using each other’s things.
• Have your child sign up for text alerts. They need to opt-in.
• Make sure they thoroughly understand three terms:  effective consent, sexual misconduct, incapacitation.
• Have them repeat, “Don’t drink what you didn’t make or open yourself.”

Orientation coupons

5.  The dining hall food was fine. Sure, Pete will tire of it at some point, but the food choices were excellent. But perhaps Pete wishes we hadn’t tried it out? The coupon reads:

A reminder: parents eat free when they visit during the 2012/13 academic year (beginning 8/24/12) at our residential dining rooms. (Two parents per student meal swipe, per visit. We regret that other family members are not eligible for this promotion.)

Just kidding, Pete. Four weeks from today, big guy.

Related articles

• College Orientation Comes With a Hefty Price Tag
• How to Get Off to a Good Start with a College Roommate
• First Year [Freshman] Orientation

First Year [Freshman] Orientation

Welcome Class of 2016!

Sometime before the beginning of June Mod Squad Pete registered himself and both parents for summer orientation for first year students. At his college, the University of Virginia, one doesn’t say “Freshman Orientation” because one doesn’t ever say “freshman.”

[Expect a post on terms used and not-used at UVa.]

Pete registered for this week, traded a shift at his job, packed his bags, and was ready to go.

Actually, there was a bit more to it than that.

Instructions from UVa provided a deadline to upload a photo (with specific size, background, etc.) for his ID, requirements to familiarize himself with the Student Information System (which can be a real bear to deal with), and recommendations, such as to load up his course planner with possible selections in preparation for registration when visiting grounds. (One doesn’t say “campus” at UVa, either.)

Parents awaiting four hours of discussion panels.

Come orientation day, we showed up during the specified half-hour to find a very well-organized and cheerful team ready to process the five or six hundred students and their parents through the two days. “Students to the right; parents to the left.”

While many of us regrouped to drop off overnight gear at the dorm, the orientation team was clear:  many of the student activities were “parent-free zones.”

The student activities included:

• Placement exams, if needed, for Russian, Latin, and German
• Welcome and other speeches
• Small group orientation ice-breakers
• Scheduling workshop
• Student life panel discussion
• Activities at the fitness center
• Course registration

Parent activities included:

Pete’s new address: top floor, corner room.

• Welcome speech by the Orientation Director
• ‘Parents as Partners’ discussion by the Dean of Students
• Student Norms discussion (aka “Is Everybody Drinking?”) by the Student Health Center representative
• Move in Day and beyond panel by Housing & Student Life representatives

Additional tours, open houses, resource fairs, and information sessions were available to all. We looked at a room similar to the type in Pete’s dorm.

Indeed, in an experience reminiscent of multiple dorm room visits on college tours,  we waited outside the room while multiple parents chatted away inside, squeezed in to take a look, stepped outside again after a parent elbowed us aside so she could measure the inside of the armoire, and then stepped back in just so we could see the darn room.

End result: we’re oriented. Pete is sort of registered — out of six courses in his planner, he is registered for two, awaiting professor approval for two, and wait-listed for two. Not bad.

M.S. Dad and Pete check out the view.

For the parents, and I’ll speak for both of us until M.S. Dad decides to guest-post:  every day of this post-high school summer brings us one step closer to the very exciting next step of Pete’s life [College! Wow! Moving Out!] and one step closer to the dreary next step of our life [Where did Pete go?].

Orientation reinforced that for all of us. We are so very excited for him and, oh man, we will miss him so.

Typical for this blog, I’ve got a few links on preparing for orientation. I’ll save those for another day.

If you’re a student — enjoy every moment of moving on, even the scary bits. If you’re a parent — well, we’ll learn how to deal with this just as we’ve learned how to deal with all the other bits of parenting (even the scary bits), right?

Related articles

• Buying sheets from college. For college, yes, but from? (drstrangecollege.wordpress.com)
• Katie’s College Orientation (ricksregister.wordpress.com)

Buying sheets from college. For college, yes, but from?

After Mod Squad Pete accepted the invitation to attend the University of Virginia in late April, we all — student and parents alike — began to receive regular correspondence from UVa. We all have tasks to take care of with deadlines attached.

University endorsed linens.

Some didn’t surprise me — both summer orientation registration and the housing application were due by June 1st. The catalog of linens, hampers, shower pak [sic] and more did.

The “Complete Campus Collection – 26-piece Value Pak“, also described as “#1 Student Choice” and “your best deal” could give Pete beautifully matched sheets, comforter, fleece throw, blanket, towels, hamper, underbed storage solution, and one bedside buddy (fabric organizer with pockets and a flap that slides between mattress and bed frame).

Really?

We will need to purchase extra-long twin bedding, but we won’t be buying the complete campus collection. For one reason, Pete received a great set of towels from an aunt and uncle for graduation. I’m not sure Pete cares much about a fully matched bedding set.

Then there was the computer catalog. Or the “UVA Class of 2016 Student Computers & Dorm Essentials” catalog. We have received three or four computer sales pitches now, with a letter from the University CIO highlighting all the benefits of buying via the Computing at Virginia or CAV program.

Really?

Ok, we do need to purchase a Mac PowerBook for Pete, but I’m not yet sold on the CAV service and UVA-installed software being worth the additional costs beyond what we could purchase directly from Apple, including AppleCare.

And those dorm essentials? Fans, refrigerators, microwaves, carpets and TVs? If Pete were attending a college hundreds of miles from home, purchasing a fan through the college and having it delivered to his dorm room might make sense. But I’m a bit too old-fashioned to consider a TV an essential for his dorm room.

Plus, Pete was able to watch three Star Wars movies on his iPod a year or so ago while I drove hundreds of miles on a college-visit-road-trip. He doesn’t need a television.

Bedside Buddy.

I’m interested in hearing what other parents of new college students have done. Please let me know in comments.

Here’s what we’ve done so far at our house:  Pete wrote a few UVa students he knows from high school and asked about their experiences. I wrote the parent of a 2012 grad and asked her advice. Based upon the responses we’ve received, we’ll keep shopping around.

I’m fairly certain the laptop and the bedside buddy weren’t included in the estimated Cost of Attendance.

Related articles

• National College Decision Day: Pete’s going to college. (drstrangecollege.wordpress.com)
• You’d Never Want To Graduate From this Amazing, Automated College Dorm Room [Video] (gizmodo.com)
• 3 Safety Essentials for College (dormsafety.wordpress.com)