Best. College. Acceptance. Letter. Ever.

Here’s a Monday = Fun Day post… with huge apologies for linking to something behind the New Yorker‘s paywall again.

However, I hope a couple of quotes from Patricia Marx‘s one-page piece, titled Home Colleging will encourage you to track down the September 19, 2011 issue, page 38. (Library? Dentist’s office? Neighbor?)

Dear Bradley G. Lumpkin,
We are pleased to inform you of your acceptance to Lumpkin Home College. With an applicant pool of approximately one, this year marked the most selective admissions process in Lumpkin’s history.

How long has this college been around?

Lumpkin College, founded last Tuesday night, after your most recent thing with the police, is dedicated to instilling in Bradley Lumpkin an appreciation of staying out of jail.

Among the courses offered:
—A Dialectic of Mother-Son Relationships: Things Ain’t What They Used to Be. In this course, we’ll explore various forms of government, from anarchy to Bradocracy. Is despotism really so terrible? You might be surprised by the answer. Prerequisite: Apology Workshop.
Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian friends…
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Filed under Reports

3 responses to “Best. College. Acceptance. Letter. Ever.

  1. I find this really funny yet something you can learn from.

    • Absolutely! Such as how not to treat your younger sibling, why you shouldn’t ruin Grandma’s credit rating, and don’t sell Mom and Dad’s car on eBay. My teens tell me I found it funnier than they did, but twelve year old Mod Squad Linc snorted when he read it. Thanks for your comment.

  2. Pingback: Goodbye 2011: Most popular posts and searches and a gratifying thank you.. | Dr. StrangeCollege or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Journey

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